Terrible Tuesday the 12th

I'm behind...I'm catching up on this week, writing this on Saturday the 16th - have to fill you in.

Hang on...this is going to be a long one...

Tuesday morning starts out with a day for D1 and I. 3 weeks ago I took a day off with D3 and we went to a local kids center, played some games and then had a nice lunch out. It ws just her and I and it was "our day". The next week was the day for D2. She chose for us to get pedicures and have lunch. We did that and then some shopping with a gift card she had found from her birthday. Now it was time for D1. She chose for us to have massages and I had scheduled then for the morning for us both. Unfortunately we had car things to take care of first and were going to the gym. The garage called a little before 8 and said they would take a look at it. On my way to the gym they called back with the bad news...it had blown a head gasket. For those of you that wonder what that is (or care to know) it happens when the car gets so hot and so pressurized and all the pressure needs somewhere to go. It causes the gasket (thin layer of rubber or material of some sort) to push out and let the steam escape. The problem is the fix. To replace the head gasket you basically have to remove most of the engine parts just to get to it. Then you may have to replace the actual head if it is cracked. Just to replace the head gasket, waterpump, and little parts along with way was going to be $1500! Then if he were to find the head cracked or badly warped we would be looking at a lot more to find that. I checked with my ex who is a mechanic by trade and even the cheap friend rate is $800. Ugh!

Off to the gym to work off some frustration and to think. Talked with GG afterwards and we decide that we can't put anymore money in this car - it has transmission troubles too that need to be fixed and we just don't have the money nor is the car worth the $$ it would take. Double ugh!!!

Home to pick up D1 and get ready for our massages and some more phone chats with GG. We talk about the fact that somehow D1 has to learn from this event and also about the fact that we have no $$ for another car nor (in my opinion) should we just buy her another one. This is where being a step parent gets tough - or at least I think so. You see GG and I were raised quite differently at this age when it came to cars. GG was given a car - more than one in fact - and never had to pay for anything. I on the other hand had a loan with "Mom and Dad First National" as it was referred to and received $500 towards my first car. I paid for my own gas and my parents paid my insurance. I can't remember who paid for things on my car like services, etc. - I'll have to remember to ask Mom about that one. I have learned that when you raise a child together you come up with your family's plan but dropping into a child's life in the middle and being the "step" means you don't always agree on those plans and that sometimes you have to defer a little to the child's main parent. I haven't set my feelings or thoughts aside but I have had to let GG take the lead on this one more than I think I would have had we been the only parents of D1. That said, GG decides that D1 is going to have to make the payments on whatever car she ends up with. An older family member has a car that she is no longer using because of age that is an option and she could make payments on it. More on that tomorrow.

Anyways...we drive across town to our massages and just prior to getting their D1's employer (a local restaurant) calls and asks her where she is. Turns out she was supposed to work that day and she had her schedule mixed up (she thought she was off the whole day). We had to cancel our massages and head home for her to get ready. Now with no car it's up to me and GG to get her to and from work. I'm beginning to think maybe we ought to go back to bed and begin this day again! Unfortunately this won't change a thing. I take her to work and have decided that I'm going to stay home and get a bunch of things accomplished that have been hanging over my head. It was a welcome break for me and I did get a lot of things done including lunch with a good friend.

My blessings for the day...that I have the ability to take time off when I would like whether it be for my family or my sanity.